A New Year for Akatsuki
by Guardian of Atlantis
Summary: Akatsuki celebrates a year of successful Biju sealing and welcome in the New Year with their misadventures. DeiTobi and HidanKakuzu gen. Tobi, Deidara and Kakuzucentric. Oneshot


A New Year for Akatsuki

Author's note: Happy New Years (yes its one day late but oh well). As you can obviously tell this is my first fic for 2007 and a New Year's special featuring Akatsuki, enjoy. Possible OOCness Rated T for innuendo and swearing. Slight spoilers due to references to recent chapters

"Damn it yeah" Deidara yelled annoyed. Once again he had ruined his outfit by accident of course. Still the sad thing was that he had yet to learn his lesson about stuffing exploding clay into the pockets of clothes. You'd expect him to learn his lesson after blowing up his uniform during a sealing ritual…in front of his fellow members. Luckily though the sealing ritual was always taking place in dark places, otherwise his fellow S-Ranked criminals would have been exposed to 3 days of…umm…we'll leave that to your imagination.

Deidara fumed over the charred remains of his Pidgeot outfit, how could he show his love of flying Pokemon now? It was only a few more hours to New Year's anyway and he realized he was quickly running out of time.

Ah yes, it was a New Year's celebration for Akatsuki and the Leader was holding a fancy dress up party for his loyal subordinates. And the not so loyal Hidan who one time spiked his drink with laxatives, Hidan did always think he was the 'Ultimate Shithead' after stopping them from fighting.

Most other people would ask the question- "Why is Akatsuki a bunch of evil S-ranked Criminals celebrating New Year's?" You see New Year's didn't really mean celebrating the coming of another year for Akatsuki, after the leader twisted the idea a little it instead meant celebrating a year of sealing Bijus, making Jounins piss themselves so much they need to send it kids half their size to overpower them in numbers and just doing evil things like getting rid of Rum.

And now Deidara couldn't be there to celebrate just because his outfit went boom on him. What was a blond to do? Leader won't let him in, he couldn't even have a chance to show them his majestic art nor could he be the center of attention again like every other party. But wait Deidara thought he could always hire a party costume.

After Deidara had a short moment to enjoy his brilliant and simple idea he then yelled "TOBI!" His bumbling partner rushed in upon hearing his name being called and replied "Yes Deidara-senpai I won't fail you, Tobi's a good boy"

With a slight smile becoming apparent on his face at his other wonderful idea he requested his partner "Tobi I want you to go to the costume hire shop yeah. As you see my costume has been ruined yeah". If there was one lesson the blond learnt from being a S-ranked criminal is that it's good to let your subordinate to do all the work like washing the dishes.

The masked Shinobi saluted his partner before rushing out to complete the task bestowed upon him after telling him that he'll be back as quick as he can. Tobi was delighted and so was Deidara, Tobi had a fine chance to please the Iwa-nin and Deidara didn't have to go running around to find shops that weren't closed. Deidara was delighted that he still had the chance to have all eyes on him, considering Tobi's constant need to satisfy his fellow comrades. Besides he thought what could possibly go wrong.

Tobi just strolled through the town trying to browse the shops. Surely there had to be at least one shop that was still opened at this hour. Undismayed Deidara's and Zetsu's bit… I mean good boy continue to look around the corner for a costume shop that wasn't locked. It was too bad Tobi decided to end his desperate search as soon as he saw a familiar face "Sai-sama, good to see you!"

Devoid of emotions and slightly annoyed he replied "Great it's the swirly-faced idiot, what do you want?" Sai never liked Deidara whom he referred to as "that blonde bimbo", he didn't like Tobi either due to his association with "that blonde bimbo".

"Aw don't be mean, can't we be friends?" Tobi inquired with his usual innocence. Sai blankly stared at what was supposed to be an S-ranked criminal and replied "No".

As Tobi continued to annoy Sai he suddenly realized what Sai was working in. "You work in a costume shop" he asked. Sai once again was surprised by Tobi before finally saying "Took you long enough Swirly Moron, in case you don't know this is where I work part-time". This guy was probably the dumbest person he had met, even worse than a certain penis-lacking blond. Though how Sai found out is something we should be wondering about…

"I want to buy a costume for my good friend Deidara, something that will make him stand out" Tobi said adding just enough detail for Sai to get the idea. He was quite please with his description that provided an idea of what Deidara consider completely essential for a dress-up party. The 'artistic vision' was what Deidara called a perfection beautiful costume before blowing it up of course.

"So the blonde bimbo wants a costume" Sai said as he thought of a way to get back at Deidara for a certain incident. Probing through the shelves for a time he eventually found what he was looking for. 'Oh yes this was an excellent costume it would definitely look good on that blonde bimbo' Sai thought. Taking it from its place and putting it into a plastic bag, Sai handed it to Tobi without asking anything from him in return. Sai being nice and generous? That did not sound good.

"You sure you don't want anything in return? Sai-sama" Tobi inquired. Sai remained impassive and replied "No it's for free and tell your blonde bimbo of a friend he lacks a penis and happy New Year". Surprised by his sudden generosity Tobi just left the shop without noticing that unusual smile that formed on Sai's face. Sai smiling? - You know there has to be something wrong…

Hmm I wonder what Kakuzu's doing…

"Do you fear death?" Kakuzu asked Kisame "Do you fear that dark abyss? Do you…" Kakuzu stopped as he realized what Kisame was wearing. "I'M DAVY JONES!!"

"No you copycat; I'm the one who should be Davy Jones. I have a greater knowledge of the sea since I was born in Kirigakure" Kisame replied at Kakuzu who was wearing the same Tricorne, barnacle-covered outfit and fake claw.

"I have real tentacles for a beard!

"I look like a Shark and Davy Jones is sea…"

"That's Maccus you moron, you can be part of my crew!"

"At least I look good in this unlike you" This continued for a while till Kakuzu finally gave up, now let's get back to Tobi.

Upon returning to the Akatsuki lair who else should he meet than the reason he was sent on this mission himself- Deidara. "Tobi you got my outfit yeah? Good I knew I could rely on you yeah" Deidara said gleefully. He happily proceeded to pull it from the bag upon seeing the outfit his mood turn sour. Heck he was dumb trucked that Tobi brought this for him.

"Tobi where did you buy this from yeah" Deidaras' eyes narrowed as he shot Tobi an annoyed glance that pretty much said 'I'm gonna kill you for this'. Cheerfully Tobi replied "Oh I got it from Sai-sama, am I not a good boy for…

"YOU IDIOT" Yep Deidara was officially pissed. "I don't get it, didn't Tobi do what Deidara asked Tobi to do" Deidara threw the costume back at his face. Tobi then realized what it was that Sai gave him. A certain blond ninja was fuming that he had to wear that in front of his fellow Akatsuki and the leader. It was red, white and black… it was…

A cheerleader outfit (a very skimpy one too), stereotype much looks like Sai believes in those 'ideas' about blond people. Wait lets just see what he's doing now…

**Meanwhile back in Konoha**

Sai was smiling and every now and then during the celebrations with the Rookie 9 he would have a fresh round of laughter." What are you so happy about?" Naruto asked Sai.

"Let's just say I taught a certain blond a lesson and blondes look good as cheerleaders" Sai replied. At this point Naruto just slowly backed away scared for his life just as Ino came in and decided to let's say 'knock him out' for lack of better words.

Still Sai had his revenge; he hated Deidara from the moment he decided to upstage him at an art contest. In fact it was the same contest where Deidara proceeded to mock Sai's art.

Back to our regular broadcast with the Akatsuki but first let's check on Kakuzu.

"Itachi" Kakuzu said his Davy Jones outfit was now replaced with something more human… "Yes" Itachi replied.

"I WANT TO BE THE AVATAR AANG"

"You lack…

"What do you mean I lack power? I have 4 mask that control all the elements"

"No you lack the fine complexion…"

"Complexion? I'll show you complexion"

"Hail Avatar Itachi makes a better catchphrase than Hail Avatar Kakuzu" The now-shaved and arrow-marked Itachi replied.

Poor Kakuzu everyone is stealing his ideas.

At the moment Deidara was chasing Tobi around the room with clay such sentences as "You idiot", "think it's good to stereotype blondes yeah" all whilst Tobi was trying to put on some clothes. Eventually after Deidara after much 'exercise' as we shall call it that involves a 'big bang', much to his chagrin he dressed up in the outfit and slowly opened the door where the rest of his teammates were partying. Oh dear looks like Deidara needs a year supply of paper bags but hey at least he got what he wanted. All the eyes are on him except it's for different reasons.

As soon as he stepped outside all eyes were on him. Kakuzu and Itachi stopped their fighting too over who should be Aang. That sweet moment of silence was ended when Hidan dressed as Draco Malfoy told Deidara "Hey Deidara, I'm glad you fucking came out of the closet about your fucking sexuality before the year ended". Almost everyone by then (besides Tobi dressed as Zuko, Deidara and Itachi) was laughing at Deidara's outfit which showed quite a bit of skin.

"Zetsu you know what's fucking weird?" Draco…I mean Hidan said to Zetsu who was tightly clad in a Superman guise. "What?" though it was quite obvious Zetsu was paying more attention to Deidara's 'choice of clothing' than Hidan. Zetsu was quite worried by now about what influences this recent development that made him question Deidara's mind would have on Tobi.

"You know how people are coming out of the closet. I swear what did that asswipe of a leader fucking think when he hired Deidara and Kakuzu" Hidan said. Zetsu quit paying attention to Deidara and said "You know you shouldn't compare your partner to Deidara considering what we've just seen"

Hidan merely laughed and said "Of course he's like Deidara, remember the time when that bastard decided to get into a position with Sharingan-fucking Kakashi and made sweet fucking love to him. Seriously and it was in front of some shithead kids. He's giving them fucking id…"

By now Kakuzu had realized what Hidan was saying, he decided stop his random staring at Deidara to teach his fellow immortal a lesson. A lesson using violence after all violence solves everything with Akatsuki.

But that lesson was ended when the Leader stepped in as Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars. "Kakuzu quit bashing up Hidan and put on another outfit, I've got an extra one for you in your room" Kakuzu fumed when Leader said this and stormed off "Hidan you're right I question Kakuzu's preferences ever since what happened with Kakashi in front of those Chunins, Deidara…umm…I never knew you were that gender confused nor you were into such…" The Leader stopped as he thought of proper words "revealing costumes"

As Deidara screamed at him in the background the Leader ignored him and began his speech "Welcome members to our annual party, we've had another successful year of capturing Bijus as such I would like to…" Hidan interrupted at this point "Shut the fuck up and let us party"

The Leader merely shrugged and said "Alright fine, dig into the food everyone. And Deidara I hope you still plan to show us a fine display of fireworks rather than back flips and Pom Pom shaking" Deidara annoyed and angry said "It was Tobi's fault!" Still in the end Deidara let off a stunning display of pyrotechnics. As Kakuzu came back in enraged that he had to be dressed as Harry Potter, the reason being because of those 'Harry/Draco' fics.

As fireworks lit up the sky his subordinates enjoyed the feast with glee enjoying the display above. The Leader smiled as he saw Kakuzu blame Itachi and Kisame for his current situation, Hidan continuing to babble about 'what happened when Kakuzu fought Kakashi and Team 10' and Deidara trying to choke Tobi to death due to his misfortune. This was indeed going to be a beautiful party and a wonderful New Year.

Author's note: Enjoy it or not. Please leave a review telling me what you liked and what you hated. Have a wonderful new 2007 writing fanfics. And Suethors/badficcers try to write better this year. And just so you remember in this fic: Kakuzu is Harry Potter, Leader is Palpatine, Tobi is Zuko, Kisame is Davy Jones, Hidan is Draco Malfoy, Zetsu is Superman, Itachi is Aang and finally Deidara is a cheerleader.


End file.
